Set the Mood for Love: Using Essential Oils for Intimacy

Intimacy. I love this topic because it is something so many women struggle with and don’t often talk about. Aromatherapy can be extremely helpful to promote feelings of love, bonding and connection with our significant other. More specifically, essential oils can be supportive for multiple variables that can play a role in decreasing libido.

What is libido and what influences it?

Libido is our sexual desire. If you have a decrease in libido, this doesn’t automatically mean that something is wrong with you, that you are doing something wrong or that there is a problem with your relationship or attraction to your significant other. If you are concerned about your libido or notice a change in your sexual desire, don’t be embarrassed to bring it up to your doctor. Often times we make this topic very personal and try to convince ourselves it is all in our heads when this simply isn’t true and a great deal of psychological and physiological variables can impact this.

What are some causes of decreased libido:

1) Hormones

One of the most common causes of decreased libido is hormones. Hormones are chemical substances produced by the endocrine glands in the body. They act as chemical messengers and evoke responses from specific organs or tissues.

The sex hormones are estrogen and testosterone. Both women and men produce estrogen and testosterone, though, in different quantities, and both sexes produce less as they age. These hormones can affect the ability to be aroused and erotic stimulation.

Sexual behavior is influenced by the hypothalamus. They hypothalamus is a center for the limbic system. It stimulates the pituitary gland to release the sex hormones. When levels of these hormones fall, so does sexual desire. When hormones are fluctuating it can also impact sexual desire. The body is constantly trying to heal and establish homeostasis and when there are changes, it can take a long time for the hormones to adjust.

A few examples of how changes in hormones impact libido:

• Pregnancy: In pregnancy there is a major shift in hormones to help thicken the endometrial lining to support implantation as well as maintain a healthy pregnancy. Human chorionic gonadotropin hormone (HCG) is produced and estrogen and progesterone levels increase. Some women have an increase in libido during pregnancy while others have a decrease. This can change and vary with each pregnancy.

• Postpartum: After birth, there is another major shift in hormones. When combined with sleep deprivation and stress, sexual desire can decrease. In addition, there has been studies showing structural changes in the brain postpartum specifically related to the hypothalamus, amygdala and prefrontal cortex. (1)

• Menopause: During the transition to menopause, estrogen levels decrease. This can result in less interest in sex and cause dry vaginal tissues, resulting in painful or uncomfortable sex.

• Birth control and fertility medication: When starting, while taking or coming off birth control or fertility medication the body is trying to adjust, and this could play a role in libido.

2) Depression

Depression can impact sexual desire in a variety of ways. During depression, the brain is struggling to to use neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine which play a role not only in moods but also in libido. In addition, stress, anxiety, and fatigue can also negatively affect sexual desire. Some antidepressants such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI) such as Prozac, Celexa and Paxil have sexual side effects which can include diminished libido.

3) Stress

Stress triggers a stress response in the adrenal glands which can also cause a decrease in sex hormones therefore impacting libido.

4) Sleep

The body makes a large proportion of sex hormones when asleep. In addition, libido automatically decreases due to exhaustion and lack of energy.

A few ways to naturally increase libido:

• Manage stress through positive stress relieving activities such as exercise, meditation, rest, aromatherapy, yoga, taking walks in nature, journaling, etc.

• Prioritize sleep and aim to sleep 7-9 hours every night.

• Form emotional connection with partner by taking time for each other.

• Have more sex. Have sex produces testosterone and may increase sex drive to desire it more.

• Get out of your routine. Explore new places, experiences or adventures together. New experiences help the hypothalamus to create dopamine which is our brain chemical responsible for motivation and reward.

• Utilize the power of the olfactory system and aromatherapy!
  

How aromatherapy can help

Essential oils can be supportive for those variables that can play a role in decreasing libido. Aromatherapy has been shown to help support sleep. In a 2021 study, participants were exposed to lavender essential oil diffused intermittently after they were already asleep. This blinded approach eliminated psychological expectation. All participants reported better sleep quality and more daytime vigor. EEG analysis showed increased delta activity (slow-wave sleep) upon aroma release. These results suggest that the improved sleep quality is directly linked to aroma. (2)

Aromatherapy can also reduce stress and anxiety which can negatively affect libido. Due to their complex chemical constituents, essential oils can transform unpleasant emotions and potentially reduce the damaging effects of stress on the mind and body. Multiple studies have shown the benefits of using aromatherapy for emotional wellbeing.

A few of my favorite studies showing how essential oils can reduce stress and impact mood:

• A randomized crossover study with 42 females showed that salivary cortisol levels were reduced significantly after inhalation of bergamot essential oil. Also the high-frequency heart (a component of heart rate variability and indicator of parasympathetic nervous system function) also increased significantly. (3)

• A small pilot study of 57 participants found that diffusing bergamot in a waiting room increased positive feelings and moods. (4)

• A randomized single blind control study found that inhalation of a lavender and ylang ylang blend significantly reduced stress, sympathetic nervous system activity, lowered blood pressure and reduced serum cortisol levels. (5)

• A placebo controlled study found that dermal application of sweet orange essential oil reduced arousal of the autonomic nervous system (reduction of heart rate and respiratory rate) yet increased cheerfulness and uplifting moods. (6)

• A meta-analysis of 32 clinical trials suggested that aromatherapy with different essential oils could alleviate anxiety. (7)

Scent has been used for centuries to enhance romance and set the stage for love

Using aromatherapy for intimacy

Essential oils can not only help support sleep and stress which can negatively affect libido, they can also promote attraction, connection and feelings of love. Some essential oils have aphrodisiac qualities helping us set the mood for intimacy. When a scent passes through the olfactory system, this influences the limbic system. At the center of the limbic system is the hypothalamus which drives sexual desire. We can use essential oils to promote feelings of happiness, self-confidence, feminism, and love. We can also form memory scent associations with an essential oil and date nights to help us unwind, relax, and enjoy the time to connect with our significant other.

The use of scent in attraction is not something new and has been used in centuries to promote intimacy. Ylang ylang petals are commonly put on newlywed beds in Indonesia. The scent of roses is often associated with love. Using essential oils for romance dates back to ancient Egypt and Rome where bathing with oils was a ritual in preparation for lovemaking.

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet.” -Shakespeare

Scent may also increase attraction for others. One study showed that study participants who smelled rose oil rated faces as more attractive. This study helps show that scent can influence our attraction and behavior with others. (8) There have also been a few studies investigated the effects of aromatherapy inhalation on sexual desire, and all of the studies showed that aromatherapy inhalation (lavender or low dose of neroli or mixed oils) had superior effects compared with the placebo. (9)

Top 15 aphrodisiac essential oils for intimacy

• Rose

• Jasmine

• Lavender

• Ylang Ylang

• Black Pepper

• Orange

• Ginger

• Sandalwood

• Cypress

• Clary Sage

• Blue Spruce

• Geranium

• Vanilla

• Rosewood

• Nutmeg

Ylang Ylang Cananga odorata essential oil (pronounced ee-lang ee-ylang) is one of the most common essential oils for intimacy. It comes from the flower petals of the large tropical Ylang Ylang tree. It is a middle to base note which makes it great for blending in perfumes. You may recognize the scent as one of the base notes in the famous perfume Chanel No. 5. It has a warm, sensual, exotic and sweet aroma.

Ylang Ylang essential oil has a range of benefits from promoting healthy hair to rejuvenating and balancing oily skin. It’s most prominent benefits are psychologically. It can be supportive in soothing anxiety, anger and nervous tension. It also promotes alertness and attention which makes it great for increasing productivity.

In Indonesia, ylang ylang petals are scattered over the bed of newlywed couples on their wedding night. This essential oil is known for increasing libido in women as it increases feelings of happiness, peace, adoration, self confidence, romance and calming the mind. Add it to the diffuser with Blue Spruce and Orange to set the mood. Or make a love potion roller and wear as a perfume on date night or rub on the inner thighs. Ooh laa laa .

**Ylang Ylang is a moderate skin sensitizer. Always dilute and use caution when applying to hypersensitive skin.

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Love Potion Roller

Author: Holly Brandenberger

Use this roller on date nights to help set the mood for love and intimacy.

Ingredients

• 4 drops Ylang Ylang essential oil
• 5 drops Orange essential oil
• 2 drops Jasmine essential oil
• 2 drops Coriander essential oil
• 2 drops Black Pepper essential oil
• Carrier oil such as fractionated coconut oil or jojoba oil
• 10ml roller bottle

Instructions

1. Add essential oils to 10ml roller and fill rest with carrier oil.
2. Apply on date night when wanting to feel feminine, self-confident and "in the mood".

Orange is an impressive aphrodisiac oil because it helps us let go of stress and enjoy being in the moment. It is known for opening the sacral chakra which is associated with pleasure, creativity and sensuality.  It can help you relax if you have low libido due to anxious feelings. I love in diffuser with Ylang Ylang!⠀⠀

Cypress promotes blood flow and healthy circulation in the body ! This is an important for both men and female. Apply this diluted to inner thighs of partner while giving a massage.

A few ways to use these essential oils for intimacy:

• Create a diffuser blend to help set the mood for love.

• Use as a “love potion” perfume spray or roller and apply on date night.

• Add a few drops with massage oil and give your significant other a massage

• Add a few drops with unscented bath gel or bubble bath to help unwind from the day and promote feelings of love, peace and self-confidence.

• Create a memory scent association with a blend or essential oil and date nights. Apply that oil or blend with lotion in the morning to help increase excitement throughout the day to connect with partner that night.
  

To learn more about the role scent plays in attraction, check out this blog: The Scent and Attraction: How Pheromones Play a Role When Choosing a Mate.

Safety: Do not use essential oils in lubricants or apply essential oils to genitalia. Although essential oils are “natural” this does not make them automatically safe. We have to remember they are still chemicals and extremely potent. It is not a good idea to apply essential oils to a mucous membrane even if diluted. Our mucous membranes have a very important role within the body: to stop pathogens or dirt from entering and to prevent tissues from becoming dehydrated. The mucous membranes line various cavities within the body (eyes, ears, nose, mouth, lip, vagina, urethra and anus) and serve as a barrier between the outside world and within our body. They are extremely sensitive and applying ANY essential oil (even diluted) is not a good idea to the genitalia. Essential oils are potent and the risk of using essential oils in this manner far outweighs the benefits. Essential oil vaginal and/or anal suppositories, soaking tampons in essential oils, DIY lubricants all have risks. Pain, scarring, killing off healthy bacteria, burning of the skin and creating a predisposition to infection are just some of the risks. If wanting to use essential oils in this manner, please consult a Certified Aromatherapist for guidance.

Disclaimer: This blog is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of medicine, nursing or other professional health care services, including the giving of medical advice. The use of information on this blog or materials linked from this blog is at the user's own risk. The content of this blog is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard, or delay in obtaining, medical advice for any medical condition they may have, and should seek the assistance of their health care professionals for any such conditions.

References:

1. Kim P, Leckman JF, Mayes LC, Feldman R, Wang X, Swain JE. The plasticity of human maternal brain: longitudinal changes in brain anatomy during the early postpartum period. Behav Neurosci. 2010 Oct;124(5):695-700.

2. Ko LW, Su CH, Yang MH, Liu SY, Su TP. A pilot study on essential oil aroma stimulation for enhancing slow-wave EEG in sleeping brain. Sci Rep. 2021 Jan 13;11(1):1078. doi: 10.1038/s41598-020-80171-x.

3. Watanabe E, Kuchta K, Kimura M, Rauwald HW, Kamei T, Imanishi J. Effects of bergamot ( Citrus bergamia (Risso) Wright & Arn.) essential oil aromatherapy on mood states, parasympathetic nervous system activity, and salivary cortisol levels in 41 healthy females. Forsch Komplementmed. 2015;22(1):43-9.

4. Han X, Gibson J, Eggett DL, Parker TL. Bergamot (Citrus bergamia) Essential Oil Inhalation Improves Positive Feelings in the Waiting Room of a Mental Health Treatment Center: A Pilot Study. Phytother Res. 2017 May;31(5):812-816. doi: 10.1002/ptr.5806. Epub 2017 Mar 24.

5. Hwang JH. [The effects of the inhalation method using essential oils on blood pressure and stress responses of clients with essential hypertension]. Taehan Kanho Hakhoe Chi. 2006 Dec;36(7):1123-34.

6. Hongratanaworakit, Tapanee & Buchbauer, Gerhard. (2007). Autonomic and emotional responses after transdermal absorption of sweet orange oil in humans: Placebo controlled trial. International Journal of Essential Oil Therapeutics. 1. 29-34.

7. Gong M, Dong H, Tang Y, Huang W, Lu F. Effects of aromatherapy on anxiety: A meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials. J Affect Disord. 2020 Sep 1;274:1028-1040.

8. Seubert J, Gregory KM, Chamberland J, Dessirier JM, Lundström JN. Odor valence linearly modulates attractiveness, but not age assessment, of invariant facial features in a memory-based rating task. PLoS One. 2014 May 29;9(5):e98347.

9. Lee HW, Ang L, Choi J, Lee MS. Aromatherapy for Managing Menopausal Symptoms: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis of Randomized Placebo-Controlled Trials. J Altern Complement Med. 2021 Oct;27(10):813-823. doi: 10.1089/acm.2020.0315.